Building Your (Big Girl) Voice
It All Started with My Voice.
Y’all,
I’ve always been a strong-willed individual even as a youngster, but I also dabbled with a taste of wanting folks around me to “like me”.
That combination was extremely fatal for me.
Whenever I saw an issue I wanted to address that would ruffle feathers, I’d practice the speech in the mirror, but by the time it was ‘game time’, I’d freeze.
And I know some of you may say, I was just “afraid of public speaking’, but honestly, I wasn’t. I had a deliberating fear that if I said things that were out of the norm, folks would genuinely not like me.
And as a child, that was a huge issue!
Just imagine being in high school. You start taking courses and you notice the teacher is barely there. You end up never doing class work, always getting “good grades”, but deep down, you want to tell someone because you know if WILL affect your future. Y’all, I told my fellow classmates how I felt, and you can imagine how that ended up!
Deep down I craved friendship, but uttering the words necessary to the higher ups, gave way to turmoil you would never believe!
Years later, dozens of full diary entries, a few months of therapy, and I still found myself getting anxious when I spoke on “tough subjects.” But the difference between then and now is that I now speak my mind, no matter how I feel at the moment.
Because I know how bad I’ll feel if I don’t.
As you discover the path you want to take in life, in love, in anything, you will come in contact with situations that just don’t ‘feel great.’
These situations will bring back childhood pains, negative thoughts from people you’ve loved, and/or self destructive ideas that will try to derail your path of discovery.
But don’t be alarmed.
Here are a few things you can do to help you reach your destination without fail.
One thing that I started doing to keep my past in the past, was creating affirmations that would help build my voice.
That combination was extremely fatal for me.
Whenever I saw an issue I wanted to address that would ruffle feathers, I’d practice the speech in the mirror, but by the time it was ‘game time’, I’d freeze.
And I know some of you may say, I was just “afraid of public speaking’, but honestly, I wasn’t. I had a deliberating fear that if I said things that were out of the norm, folks would genuinely not like me.
And as a child, that was a huge issue!
Just imagine being in high school. You start taking courses and you notice the teacher is barely there. You end up never doing class work, always getting “good grades”, but deep down, you want to tell someone because you know if WILL affect your future. Y’all, I told my fellow classmates how I felt, and you can imagine how that ended up!
Deep down I craved friendship, but uttering the words necessary to the higher ups, gave way to turmoil you would never believe!
And so, I went through that season, very timid when it came to speaking my mind on things I was passionate about.
Years later, dozens of full diary entries, a few months of therapy, and I still found myself getting anxious when I spoke on “tough subjects.” But the difference between then and now is that I now speak my mind, no matter how I feel at the moment.
Because I know how bad I’ll feel if I don’t.
As you discover the path you want to take in life, in love, in anything, you will come in contact with situations that just don’t ‘feel great.’
These situations will bring back childhood pains, negative thoughts from people you’ve loved, and/or self destructive ideas that will try to derail your path of discovery.
But don’t be alarmed.
Here are a few things you can do to help you reach your destination without fail.
Research and Create Strategies That Will Help You in Your Time of Need.
One thing that I started doing to keep my past in the past, was creating affirmations that would help build my voice.
These affirmations became my go-to place for inspiration and motivation when outward motivation was hard to find. I’d create a cute design in Canva and let it sit as my screensaver to help me when I needed it the most.
I also enlisted virtual coaches to be cheerleaders when doing important tasks were imperative.
Creating strategies that work BEFORE you actually need them ensure your path is covered.
I know you’ve heard this many times, “An ounce of prevention is better than a pound of cure.” (by Benjamin Franklin)
It’s basically saying you can prevent issues by choosing to prevent them before they happen. Even though that sounds very hocus pocus, it can be very practical.
The strategies you spend time creating will help change your life, but they don’t have to be difficult.
No.
It all depends on your individual problems or concerns.
But don’t worry. You can do this. I have faith in you, sis.
If you're anything like me that still struggles with fear and anxiety, I challenge you to take some time today to craft 3 Key Strategies that will help you succeed when times get hard.
They can be affirmations, mantras, or even curated music playlist that get you going. You choose, you name it. The possibilities are endless!
Post them on your fridge, tape them to your mirror, add them to your phone’s notes. Just make sure to put them where you need them.
And when it's time for you to speak your mind about topics, subjects, problems, any ideas that are dear to your heart, that you're uber passionate about, lean in and try your strategies and watch your self-confidence soar!
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I also enlisted virtual coaches to be cheerleaders when doing important tasks were imperative.
Creating strategies that work BEFORE you actually need them ensure your path is covered.
I know you’ve heard this many times, “An ounce of prevention is better than a pound of cure.” (by Benjamin Franklin)
It’s basically saying you can prevent issues by choosing to prevent them before they happen. Even though that sounds very hocus pocus, it can be very practical.
The strategies you spend time creating will help change your life, but they don’t have to be difficult.
No.
It all depends on your individual problems or concerns.
But don’t worry. You can do this. I have faith in you, sis.
You Are in Control of Your Success
If you're anything like me that still struggles with fear and anxiety, I challenge you to take some time today to craft 3 Key Strategies that will help you succeed when times get hard.
They can be affirmations, mantras, or even curated music playlist that get you going. You choose, you name it. The possibilities are endless!
Post them on your fridge, tape them to your mirror, add them to your phone’s notes. Just make sure to put them where you need them.
And when it's time for you to speak your mind about topics, subjects, problems, any ideas that are dear to your heart, that you're uber passionate about, lean in and try your strategies and watch your self-confidence soar!
The sky isn’t the limit, Hun. You are.
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It’ll get you over the hump and ready to face the day.
It’s like a FREE mental spa day.
It’ll get you over the hump and ready to face the day.
It’s like a FREE mental spa day.
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